Have you ever felt like, "I know I need to talk to my customer or prospect but just don't know what to talk about?" Believe it or not small-talk is an important relationship management tool. When you don't think you have anything to say use this formula:

F.O.R.D : Family, Occupation, Recreation and Dreams.

If you just ask about those things--subjects most likely dear to their heart, your customer, contact, acquaintance or friend will have lots to fill your ears with.

Just taking an interest in those things will improve your relationship with that person and open a great many doors of opportunity in the months ahead. You may also find out you have a lot in common.

I have to thank a colleague of mine for that suggestion. Thanks Kathy.

The key to improving ourselves and keeping a positive mindset ("above the line") is easily summed up by a few things:

• Read, read, read and read more.  Listen to self-improvement audio recordings.
  
• Surround yourself with the right people.
• Affirmations

Reading books, articles, RSS Feeds and listening to recordings is the oldest and still best way to get and stay "above the line."   It's not to say that any one author is better than another or more helpful than another but staying informed and learning is still the best way to stay ahead.

There are many, many, resources out there by authors ranging from Zig Zigler (great sayings and insights) to Robert Kiyosaki (my favorite).   The landscape is filled with people that have much more experience than the bulk of us and more than willing to share it with us.   

I remember the first audio tape I listened to was by Dr. Al Zimmerman.     It really started the wheels in my head turning.   He talked a lot about affirmations and surrounding yourself with positive people but no one writer has had more of an impact on me that Robert Kiyosaki.  

The first book I read by him was Rich Dad Poor Dad.  I still recommend it to most business people I talk to as a great read.  Robert Kiyosaki touches on the various types of people out there in this book but elaborates on them in his Cashflow Quadrants book.  In Rich Dad he speaks of his relationship with his fraternal dad and his "rich dad" who was father to one of his close friends.  His "rich dad" made a huge impression on him and helped steer his perception and attitude about business and money in a better direction.  I will talk further about this in later entries but wanted to mention this book and the importance of reading, listening to audio pieces, etc.  If you like, read the book and satisfy your curiosity.

Surrounding yourself with positive people is extremely important as well.  If there is one thing that can definitely keep you from staying above the line it is surrounding yourself with people that "bring you down."  How many times have we been in a conversation with a good friend or close family member that after you are out of that conversation, the tone for the rest of the day is more than just somber.  It is downright depressing.  

It is hard to sell the idea of divorcing yourself from these kinds of relationships but it is something you need to start doing.  I am not suggesting you stop being someone's friend or lose contact with your family.  It is absolutely the opposite.  I am merely saying that you minimize the negativity from these sources (if an only if that is the problem) and grow your circle of friends--those that are more positive and constructive for your growth.    

Successful people notice that over time their circle of friends change as they grow in career and business.  Do you think that is because they have more money or are more influential?  No, it is because this new circle is comprised of people that are drawn to them and have a positive impact on them.   

As you grow you too you will notice this.    Some of your previous friends and close family members will likely evolve too just by watching the changes they see in you. Not everyone will change though so don't let that bother you.  Some people just don't, can't or won't change but you are and that's all that matters.

There is an interesting statistic out there that states that the top 4-6% of the population out there represents the most financially successful and they hold most of the wealth. It is said that if you took all their wealth away and distributed it evenly among the masses that in time they would get all of that back.  This is because they will still be doing the same things they always have been--the right things.  These are the things that have made them successful--the things we are talking about right now and are reflected in the learning materials we frequently reference.

There is also a "gray area" between those that are extremely successful and those that are not.  This "gray zone" is made up of people in transition.  They are not quite yet financially successful but have the potential in them necessary to become so.  They are talented, driven and self-motivated but merely need a little push or some mentoring to get them to the next level.  From this group of people will and do come those that are slowly becoming part of the "success channel"--a sector of people that are starting to wake up, see their potential and move on to greater things.  They help others, they grow and they become better people.      If you are reading this, you are likely part of this group of motivated entrepreneurs.    These people have the potential to change the dynamic of business and the world in general.  These people will influence the next generation.  We will touch on this later.

Affirmations.  I love these. Affirmations are statements that you write that represent what you want to become or goals you want to achieve.  You write them as if those things have already happened--as if fact.   These statements are very powerful.  

Every day we are bombarded by influences that cause us to doubt ourselves and believe we can't achieve our goals or be successful in what we want to do well in.  We are programmed by these influences at a  very early age.  We are impacted by family, friends and personal experiences that cause us to think the way we do.  We become programmed and end up failing, not because we want to fail but because we believe it is normal.  We accept our lives as they are and resolve to settling with everything in it even though deep down we know our circumstances are not what we want.

The key is to break that trend and reprogram your thinking.  It is like erasing a prerecorded tape or reformatting your hard-drive (for most of us in this modern computer-aged generation).  You have to start from scratch--a clean slate as to say.  How do we do this?  Affirmations.

Try these examples:

I enjoy spending time with my family.  Because this is important to me, It is easy to make time to be away from work and my business by effectively working my schedule and tasks.  This is great because it brings balance to my life.

This is good if you want to spend more time with your family and maybe are challenged by a heavy work schedule.  Perhaps you are feeling the drain from not spending enough time with your family and work is creating tension at home.

I enjoy making $200,000 a year.

This is a relative statement.  Perhaps you are interested in making more money. How much?  That is subjective.   You should base it on what appeals to you.  This could be $1 million or just $500 more per month.

I enjoy exercise.  I do so 3x a week.  I enjoy my (walks, runs, soccer, volleyball, etc) activities.  It makes me feel 100% better.  I really notice the difference.  I am glad I am doing it.  I feel better about myself, my life, my relationship with my spouse.   I look and feel great.  

You can elaborate on this but essentially if you want to exercise and feel better, start telling yourself how much you enjoy it in the morning or afternoon (whenever you do it).   Start repairing that self-image inside and out.

It is a lot easier to quit smoking than I thought.  I am glad I am doing it.  I feel so much more healthy.

This is a good one if you want to quit smoking.

There are many more you can come up with.  Use your imagination and apply it.  I bet you didn't realize you were so creative.

Affirmations are very powerful. No matter what your goal or desire is if you start talking to yourself in a way that is positive--and as if what you are saying is already true--you will believe it and live that very way.  Write down 10 of them and say them for at least 21 days.  This is the point in time when any activity becomes habit.   If you tell yourself something for at least 21 days you will likely believe it.  

Start taking actions to make those statements into a reality.  If you want to start exercising, tell yourself how good it makes you feel and start exercising.  If you want to stop smoking, start telling yourself how good you feel by doing so and take actions to stop.  Thought without action no mater how positive, is still thought but, you will be amazed how much impact your affirmations will have on making your goals happen.

In summary, if you read and listen to audio pieces, surround yourself with positive and influential people and say affirmations on a daily basis you will definitely be taking powerful steps toward staying above the line.

The following pertains to the attitude you have, how you live your life and deal with your relationships. A creator lives above the line and a reactor below.

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Summary:
No matter what your situation is you can change it--if you don't like it as it is today. No environment, traumatic event or bad-upbringing can bring you down unless you let it. Many past experiences and disappointments can and will make you feel hopeless or angry but you can change that if you choose to. Although you may have every reason to be angry, frustrated or sad, you shouldn't let it be your ball and chain nor pass that on to others. You should share it with those that care about you--they need to know where you are coming from--but, get help and counseling if you need it and move on. You are stronger than you think and deserve everything in this world and the next if you want it and are willing to work for it.

So, what side of the line do you want to be on?

How to go from Reactor to Creator (coming soon)